Uncomfortability With Self-Advocacy
Most of us have been there at some point- wanting something but feeling hesitant to ask for it. Maybe you haven’t built much of a relationship with the person you’d need to speak to. Maybe you worry their opinion of you will change once you say something out loud. Or maybe it’s simply the fear of hearing no.
Self-advocacy feels uncomfortable because it requires vulnerability. You’re putting your needs, goals, or expectations out in the open without knowing how they’ll be received. Early in your career, that uncertainty can feel risky, as if one question or request could undo the progress you’ve worked hard to build.
What often makes this hesitation stronger is the invisible hierarchy we create in our own minds. We draw imaginary lines that place the people we’re speaking to far above us, assuming they’re unapproachable or unwilling to listen. In reality, many of the people “above” you are also the ones who want to help you grow and succeed. They just can’t support goals they don’t know about.
More often than not, the fear isn’t about the request itself but how we’ll be perceived. We worry about being judged, rejected, or seen as difficult. But the worst possible outcome is usually far less damaging than we imagine. If you don’t ask, you’re left with uncertainty. If you do, you gain clarity, and clarity creates momentum.
Why Self-Advocacy Matters for Growth
Self-advocacy isn’t just about asking for a raise or a promotion. It’s about making your goals visible. Growth opportunities rarely appear on their own. More often, they come to people who communicate what they’re working toward and take initiative in shaping their path.
As careers progress, employers increasingly look for people who can speak up, not only for themselves, but for others. Leadership often involves advocating for a team, a process, or a department. Learning to advocate for yourself early helps build the confidence needed to do so on a greater scale later.
If you’re early in your career, it’s common to feel unsure about what’s appropriate to ask for. You might worry that your request is too bold or too soon. In many cases, it isn’t. Someone else is likely already asking for more responsibility, visibility, or opportunities (and receiving them), simply because they spoke up first.
Self-advocacy is a buildable skill. It doesn’t need to happen overnight, and it doesn’t require fearlessness. It starts with small, intentional conversations and grows into confidence over time.
What Advocating for Yourself Actually Means
Advocating for yourself does not mean whining, complaining, being annoying, or demanding special treatment.
It means being confident enough to clearly communicate what you want and need. Self-advocacy is about setting expectations early, protecting your growth, and managing your workload so you can perform well and stay engaged.
This could be speaking up about your current responsibilities, asking for clarity on expectations, requesting feedback or evaluation, or having open conversations about compensation and growth. When your needs are understood, you’re often happier, more motivated, and more effective in your role, benefiting both you and your employer.
When You Should Advocate for Yourself
There are many situations where knowing how to speak up in the workplace can make a real difference.
If you’ve just been hired into a new position and you’re unsure what’s expected of you, how performance is measured, or what growth looks like, asking these questions is not needy or annoying- it’s essential. Clear expectations early on help prevent misunderstandings later.
If you’ve been in your role for a while and it’s starting to feel routine, that can be a sign it’s time to ask for more. Requesting additional responsibilities, new projects, or learning opportunities shows initiative, especially if you can explain that you have the time, skills, and capacity to take on more.
If you feel you’ve consistently gone above and beyond but your work isn’t being recognized, self-advocacy can help make your contributions more visible. Speaking clearly about your accomplishments shows the value you bring, reinforces your growth within the company, and signals that you’re invested in improving how things are done. This is often where conversations about advancement begin.
How to Advocate for Yourself
Advocating for yourself doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Breaking it into smaller steps can make it feel more manageable.
Start by identifying the outcome you want. Then think through a few actions that could help get you there. This might involve having conversations with the right people, either within or outside your organization, who can offer perspective or guidance based on their experience.
Not every conversation will go exactly as planned, and that’s okay. What matters is staying professional, respectful, and solution-oriented. When possible, avoid raising a problem without at least a partial solution. This shows that you care about improving things for everyone, not just yourself.
Tips for Self-Advocacy
1. Communicate clearly and professionally
Make your goals clear, keep conversations calm and respectful, and focus on solutions rather than frustrations.
2. Understand the value you contribute
Your work matters. Keep track of your accomplishments so you can speak to them confidently when needed.
3. Set boundaries and make them known
Protect your time and energy. Learning that it’s okay to say no helps maintain balance and prevents burnout.
Final Thoughts
Self-advocacy isn’t about being fearless; it’s about being honest. It feels uncomfortable because it asks you to trust yourself enough to speak up, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes. Small conversations build confidence, and confidence builds momentum. Over time, advocating for yourself stops feeling like a risk and becomes a necessary part of growth.
Sources
How to Advocate for Yourself at Work as a Young Professional. (2025, June 25). St. John’s University.